Cortney
Overjoyed. Worried. Strong
6 weeks postpartum
What was the hardest thing you endured during pregnancy or delivery? The hardest part about pregnancy and delivery for me was all of the unknown and the anxiety that came along with it. I'm the type of person who always likes to be prepared for situations, and I quickly realized that being a first time mom was going to be filled with the unexpected. From the very beginning of my pregnancy, I found myself constantly Googling all sorts of symptoms and situations or reaching out to my mom and my friends who have babies asking "Is this normal?!". It's tough though because everyone's pregnancy and deliveries are different and what is normal for one person may not be for another, so I really just had to learn through my own experiences
What do you wish you knew before delivery but didn't? I wish I knew that it wasn't my fault for the way my body responded to labor and that I didn't do anything wrong to cause delivery to go the way it did, ending in a c-section. When my water broke and we went into the hospital, I never imagined laboring for 29 hours and still only being 9 cm dilated. I felt a lot of guilt about the process taking so long and thought for sure it was my fault I wasn't dilating... If only I bounced on the exercise ball a little longer, switched positions one more time, or held out for the epidural another hour. My doctor and the nursing staff were wonderful about reassuring me that I was doing everything right and sometimes things just happen that are out of your control. In the end, M was born healthy and that's all that matters.
What was something that gave you confidence or hope during the hard times? During the hard times I just kept telling myself that the pain was only temporary and that soon enough I was going to finally see and hold my sweet baby girl! I also couldn't have done it without my husband and my mom by my side. They were my biggest cheerleaders and advocates through the many, many hours of labor.
What is a new strength (other than just moms being super human) that you found in yourself since becoming a mom? Other than learning how to function on minimal sleep, I think the biggest strength I've found in myself is my mother's intuition. Everyone says once you have your baby you just "figure it out" and navigate the unknowns and it's really true! I've surprised myself with how in tune I am with what M needs, and it's such an incredible feeling knowing that I can be there for her and support her as her mommy.
How are you? Overall, I'm doing well! Don't get me wrong, I still have my hard days and my moments, but each week I feel a little bit more like myself. Postpartum is a wild ride, and I'm trying to give myself grace. I have the most amazing family and friends to lean on for support and a beautiful, healthy daughter who reminds me every day how lucky I am to have experienced pregnancy and given birth to such a miracle.
How are you now compared to 1 week postpartum? I am in a much better place now compared to 1 week postpartum. That first week was such a blur between bringing M home from the hospital, running on little to no sleep, trying to keep up with nursing, and completing everyday household tasks. Luckily, my husband is very involved and makes a great teammate. We've really been able to communicate and lean on each other while we navigate this new season of life and learn how to become parents together.
