Kelly

Blissful. Ready. Confident.

11 weeks postpartum

What was the hardest thing you endured during pregnancy or delivery? I struggled with anxiety, mostly through the first 20 weeks of pregnancy, but still present to a lesser extent after that. I was always fearful of something going wrong and wondering if everything I was doing would be enough to protect my baby and help him grow. I loved him so much from the start, but I was scared I wouldn't be enough.

What do you wish you knew before delivery but didn't? I knew delivery was never going to follow the plan I had laid out in my head, but I didn't imagine all of the ways it could differ. It was still perfect, regardless.

What was something that gave you confidence or hope during the hard times? I felt great peace in knowing my husband was going to be a fantastic partner and father to our child. We were both inexperienced as first-time parents, but I knew his love and patience would support both me and our son whenever we needed it.

What is a new strength (other than just moms being super human) that you found in yourself since becoming a mom? Motherhood has helped me to be more present throughout all aspects of my day. I can now take great joy in changing a diaper, because I know I'll be able to get an adorable smile while he kicks on the changing table. I can sit in quiet and stare in adoration at A while he nurses, not thinking about a single thing but him.

How are you? I have never been more exhausted, stressed, doubtful, happy and peaceful all at the same time.

How are you now compared to 1 week pp? Looking back on those first days at home, I am amazed at how much we have learned and how our confidence has grown. That first week of both A and I learning how to breastfeed feels unrecognizable now. Even the most simple tasks I had to learn how to do with a baby in hand or quickly and quietly during a nap. Most impressive though, is A. I am so proud of everything he does, because he has learned how to do it all in the last couple months - to smile, recognize me, bring his chubby little hands into his mouth, even to just sleep comfortably in a world that is entirely new to him - he is incredible.